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The Effects Of Birth Order On Personality

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Comprehensive tips to raising all of your children.

Rarely are parents blessed with twins, however if you are one of the lucky few, embrace it. Twins are a special birth order type and basically make up their own rules. There is no guidelines for any of the birth order types, but twins especially are out of this league. It is very important that you let each one of your children be unique. I would not reccommend dressing the kids alike, even when they are younger, as it sets both you and other people up, for constantly referring to them as "the twins". You must realize that yes while they are twins, this is only one aspect of who they are. It is necessary to let them develop into their own, and to respect and love them because they are different, not to punish them for it. It would also be a good idea that once they express interest in a specific area, to let them explore it more on their own. This will help because their twin will not be by their side in all situations and it is necessary to let them make new friends, to just grow into their own.
Only Children
Only children are very complex, and could present somewhat of a challenge, as it is difficult to say no to your baby. However, saying no is imperative in having a well rounded child. Only children tend to be spoiled and believe the world revolves around them. Therefore, I reccommend at the earliest age possible putting an only child in a play group. It can only be for an hour a day, but it needs to happen to get this child familiar with other kids, and to realize the concepts of sharing, and that everything does not revolve around them. An only child will often be sensitive to critisism, therefore do so in a constructive way. Parents should also not try to push all your hopes and dreams on your child as this could result in horrific consequences. If a child feels as though they have to be perfect to obtain your love and respect, he or she is more likely to have stress and anxiety. It is important to let your child know you will love him/her no matter what and that you just want them to do their best.

First Born Children
First borns are often very sensitive to criticism as only children are. They tend to be perfectionists, and feel as though they will never quite measure up to the people their parents are. Parents must reinforce to their children that it is okay to fail and that everyone does so, including themselves. It may be necessary to reveal some of your flaws to your first born child so that he/she can see that no one is in fact perfect and that this is okay.

Family having breakfast

It is also a good idea to give your first born an outlet for stress, whether it be a sport, music, writing, or art. This is necessary because at times first borns tend to go into stress overload, and are often to proud to ask for help. Therefore, it is a good idea to let them know that you are constantly able and willing to help them. It is also a good idea to let your child know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of maturity.
Middle Born Children
Middle children can be somewhat tricky, as they often seem rebellious, and the complete opposite of your first child. However, this completely natural, and it is something every parent should expect. No middle child wants to blend in with the woodwork, they want to stand out and be noticed. Often middle children tend to feel as though they are not special, and may consider acting out or rebelliousness a way to get some attention.

To avoid these actions, I suggest you show your middle born child just how special they really are. Take notice of his/her special talents, and be sure to let them know you love them. Middle children are often outgoing and make friends easily, however if your middle child is somewhat of a loner, and shy, it might be a good idea to explore some classes together with other parents and children. This way your child can play with other children his/her own age and get quality time with you, something they believe they never have. Sing your middle child's praises, just do not go over board making their head inflated. The middle child will often leave themselves out of activities by saying things such as "They don't want me to come anyway." Do not let this happen, reassure your middle child that they are just as much a part of your family as anyone else, that everyone loves them, and wants them to join in!
Last Born Children
Last born children are skilled at getting their way, and will test their limits up until the very end of time. The last born is often manipulative and realizes that he/she can get away with much more than anyone else by simply giving you that babyish grin. Do not fall for it. You must not give in to your last born child just because it is easy, stick by your guns. If the child wants something you wouldn't let someone else have, then don't let them have it, or if the do something you would punish another child for, punish them. If you do not maintain the same consistency with your last born as you did with your other children, then  resentment could follow. The last born child is also attention seeking, and will do just about anything for a good laugh. Do not let them get away with too much however, and be certain that he/she knows that there is a time for play and a time for seriousness. It is is also a good idea to show your last born different children from different birth orders to get them acquainted with kids their own age who are different than they are and who don't treat them like the prince/princess everyone claims they are.

Copyright 2005, Samantha Murphy